I am almost euphoric; today I got to lead my first open practice!

To be ruthlessly honest, just today, before class, I asked Robin if he would donate his Thursday open practices to me for the summer, knowing that those are usually the least well attended. Cheater! Well, I prefer to think of it as being wise; following my self-advice to take baby steps.

(I have not been posting about all the baby steps I have been very busy taking for the past month or so. I am not a risk taker by nature, and taking baby steps one at a time, feels sufficiently safe for me to force myself to push past my comfort zone, minimizing my fear. I feel like my eyes are always a little too open, like deer in the headlights! Soon, I hope to tell you about some of my other controlled-terror experiences. LOL.)

Anyway, after the May 18^th class when our Fairbanks-branch founder announced my sanctioned beginner-instructor status, he took me aside and told me to get front and center right away. GULP! I didn’t want to steal anyone’s class, but summer in Alaska is no time to start another—everyone is dispersed outside while the weather is favorable.

Finally I settled on asking Robin for one of his three midday open practices. I come to all of them anyway, and he would still come. After all, I need mentoring (and handholding)! This morning, I arrived before anyone else and asked Robin to let me lead the quiet Thursday practices. HE AGREED, WOO HOO!!—and very graciously, bless him.

His wife, Joy (aptly named), was the only other person to come–perfect–two friends I can trust to break me in gently. They followed my lead during the two silent sets and didn’t chide me for chattering during the exercises between. My mouth is extra chatty when I’m nervous. It was almost unbearably hard to keep silent during the first set. But I did it. And almost exploded afterwards! I could confess to Joy and Robin, trusting they wouldn’t chastise or tease me.

During the exercises, we’re supposed to keep quiet too, but I asked Robin more about his/my class responsibilities and how he was mentored. He “did corners” for many classes over time, like me. (We silently demonstrate what the instructor wants, so that when students must turn away from the instructor, they can still see what to do.) When Robin did instruct, the supervising senior instructors did not speak unless he asked, and he NEVER felt judged or pressured. ‘Whew!

I think leading one weekly open practice for the next 3 months will be a wonderful transition step. I MUST stay focused, which I should do anyway, but don’t always, so need the added pressure. I only have to face the class during the exercises, which I am not sanctioned to instruct anyway. I already know and am comfortable with the people who come to the midday practices. So I should be able to confidently face a class by this fall.

One of my other, recent baby steps is that a senior, “continuing-level” instructor, Mary, asked me to “do corners” for HER beginning class on Saturday mornings. She will have me instruct a move now and again, to give me a LITTLE practice (with fewer heart palpitations). I began last Saturday. She even surprised me by asking me to show a move I had just upgraded in my own set. I DID, and survived to tell you about it! Yes, life is good, although a wee bit scary.