View south-east from my upstairs office window, near solstice. (Sunrise near 11AM!!) The dry warm winter has left my window less frosted than usual. Watching the sun rise before lunch is an awe- inspiring “activity.”

My father died a year ago, in February 2015. I was in Nederland, Colorado until April, then returned home to Fairbanks, Alaska. After almost two years away, moving back in has been an ongoing challenge. I still have a few boxes of odds and ends in my office for which I don’t have space!   (Eh, mañana!)

2015 was fantastically frenetic, and life rushes on—explaining (excusing?) why I was too busy making the news to write about it. The last blog post was THREE months ago!  Busy, hmm. I’ve often wondered whether the busyness is productive or defensive.

I structured my schedule around tai chi, which is the only activity bridging both homes. I’m still at the studio most days. Tai chi provides much of my exercise and social life. I have become an instructor for beginning students and will be starting my second session of classes in two weeks. My sole student from the first session was perfect for inaugurating my instructing career; he has done tai chi in the past, and had to stop for a few years. He already knew how to angle his feet, transfer his weight, and turn his whole torso. ‘Whew! He helped me become more comfortable with instructing and observing students to determine what approach would be helpful next.

My ambition to start instructing at our local Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) did come true, as I reported in earlier posts. (OLLI is seniors teaching other seniors whatever they’d mutually like. FUN!!) I prepared over several months for a numerology class. I enjoyed all the preparations and my dynamic students. What a treat to work with self-motivated students! They ASKED me to teach a tarot class in the spring! I’ve been working on that for a few months; it happens in March.

Numerology has continued since the October OLLI class ended; I can’t drop it! I ordered big numerology reports from Numerologist.com for six family members and prepared more background materials to better explain parts of the reports, learning lots more numerology in the process. I’m such a fan!

My Crisis of Confidence continues, despite all the progress and studying I’ve dedicated to that, too. I’ve faced students and earned great reviews. No one has upset me with snide comments about my offbeat pursuits.

My New Years 2016 tarot spread with astrological houses, using Tarot of Transformation.

I treasure the time studying numerology, tarot, and dreams, because working with intuitive tools provides frequent insights. I continue to meditate, almost regularly, attaining contented calm although little insight.

I KNOW that I am doing what I must with my life—learning more about my inner, truer self, to better understand and develop compassion for myself. Learning to love myself thereby nurtures understanding of and compassion for other people. I believe my task is to help others learn to develop their own understanding and compassion, spreading the love, so to speak.

It sounds like such a pie-in-the-sky goal. The task feels too wonder-ful and self-centered to be more than self-indulgent. It’s not WORK. AH! Is THAT the problem—that I require work to be difficult and unpleasant? Hmm…