Yesterday, I was surprisingly happy to see my 16 boxes and some furniture taken away for  shipping home to Fairbanks. The $5,320 price was a shock. But, hey, that feels like my life—cheap at twice the price, in my mind, gulp.

The relief of big job well done was short-lived, however. Now it’s time to get Dad’s stuff ready to distribute at next weekend’s estate sale. Everything not for sale needs to get out of the house. That includes the rest of my stuff. Ouch! Now the stress is getting serious.

Last night, when I crawled into bed, I put my hands over my heart chakra and called to my Inner Child. I’m feeling homeless, albeit temporarily, and I don’t like it! Baby Virginia reminded me that she/I didn’t feel welcome when she/I were born, either. An infant is totally without resources, so of course she was panicked at that time and I am feeling echoes of that today.

Adult I, however, have plenty of resources! And it is not my SELF that is unwelcome. I am in the midst of my loving family, after all. It is my STUFF that is just in the way of the estate sale and subsequent house sale. It is my STUFF that has to leave.

And that is where my sun-sign Taurusness comes into play. I am attached to my creature comforts. I apparently associate my Self with my stuff. Sorry, Buddha, I know better, intellectually—but this is my emotional security we’re talking about, here.

Hmm, time to peel another layer of the proverbial onion off my persona. To get down to my True Self, I must remove the culturally-induced layers of my persona.

• Two years ago I retired from my social identity as do-gooder reading tutor and political activist.
• Since then, I have been pursuing spirituality and inner growth, while reconnecting with my birth family.
• Now, I must leave my birth family and take my new, internally-focused self back to my own life and integrate new self into previous environment.

So, I have gone through the Caterpillar and Chrysalis phases; now it’s time for the butterfly to emerge. Gulp—fear and excitement galore!

Wish me luck; I’ll need it!

In the meantime, I will pack up my remaining clothes and goodies and soon move my stuff into the lovely creekside hotel in Nederland, to “nest” there during the hubbub of preparing Dad’s house for the onslaught of estate sale fans and house hunters.