The two books I am reading as my sister Kathy walks along the Camino de Santiago.
Today was a quiet, undemanding day. Hallelujah! I can indulge in some private time while Dad naps.
My sister, Kathy, has arrived in Paris by now and is heading to St. Jean-Pied-de-Port, on the French side of the Pyrenees Mountains. This will be the starting place of her seven-weeks-long, 550-mile hike/pilgrimage across Spain.
Kathy has been preparing for this trip for about a year and a half. Much as I like to hike, and much as she is my spiritual mentor and partner, I have no desire to join her on this adventure. My task is here, taking care of our father until he dies and also learning about the intuitive side of life.
I do, however, look forward to living the pilgrimage vicariously through her. She gave me a hardcopy of the travel guidebook she chose: A Village to Village Guide to Hiking the Camino de Santiago, by Anna Dintaman and David Landis. And I have been saving Sonia Choquette’s book on HER recent pilgrimage: Walking Home, A Pilgrimage from Humbled to Healed.
Today I started reading both books, their introductory material and their sections on St. Jean. Sonia Choquette is working on re-evaluating her recently deceased father’s life and her relationship with him. Wow, that is what I am doing, too. The people, personalities, and situations differ considerably; however, she gives me much to think about, with my Dad.
Our fathers are from the “great generation.” Their culture gave them so much responsibility and so little support. They quietly endured and did their duty without complaining. They weren’t allowed, really, to be warm and fuzzy and fun. Sonia and I responded in kind to how we perceived their treatment of us, and essentially ignored our fathers back. Hmm.
Now, as we think of their lives more objectively and see how hard it was for them all along, we are impressed with how well they provided for their families in the best ways they knew how. She and I are sorry we did not try harder to reach out to our fathers, and bridge the relationship gap from our side. Too late now. Sorry Dad, I am just taking care of your physical needs. I don’t know how to connect emotionally with you or provide what you want. (Of course, it would help if you would TELL me something about what you want or think!)